How Can New Fathers Bond With Their Newborn Baby?
Your beautiful new baby has arrived and you are home, your wife is exhausted and baby just wants to cluster feed constantly. Many new dads find it a daunting task to bond with their newborn when baby is being breastfed as they feel that they can’t do much to help when baby is fussy or during the night when baby is cluster feeding. They may also feel like they don’t have as much time to bond with because they are at work.
My husband found the newborn and early baby stages a bit scary as he had never handled babies and had no experience with them. In those early days he felt like he couldn’t help soothe our oldest as the only thing that calmed her was a feed. There are so many ways that a father can bond with his new baby to create the start of a beautiful relationship.
Skin to skin: A Great Bonding Experience For Baby & Dad
In the early newborn days skin to skin is a beautiful way to bond with your newborn. It provides many benefits like regulating baby’s temperature, soothing them with your heartbeat and helps to decrease cortisol levels in new dads. By bonding with baby in this way, a new father can gain confidence with handling baby and be more sensitive to baby’s needs.
Dads Can Change Nappies
One way to help mum during the day or night is if she is breastfeeding to help change nappies. It helps you spend a bit of extra time with baby in between feeds. My 4 month old loves having his nappy changed and babbles away to us while we are doing it. This turns into a great time to connect and play after his nappy change is done.
New Fathers Can Read Books to their Newborn Baby
Health visitors recommend fathers read books to their little ones. During their first visit they even give a little black and white book and recommend fathers read it to their little ones. They understand that sometimes new fathers have trouble connecting to newborns due to feeling like they can’t soothe them as easily. Yet there are so many things that fathers can do in between feeds (even though in those early weeks cluster feeding feels like it can last forever) like reading books to baby so they hear your voice and feel calmed by this. As they grow reading every night before bed helps to create a great bedtime routine and later helps establish language.
Fathers Can Use a Baby Carrier To Help Bonding
Baby carriers aren’t just for mums! They are a great way for baby to bond with dad (and get a great nap in) while doing chores around the house. This helps mum get a break or a much needed nap and helps deepen the bond between father and baby as baby loves being so close and cuddly. My favourite that can be used by both mum and dad is the Tula: Free to Grow Carrier.
Help with Bedtime Routine Can Help New Fathers Bond With their Newborn
If dad is at work all day, a great way for him to bond with baby when he gets home is to help with the bedtime routine. This is great for creating special time together as a family and helps everyone wind down together. Bath time, brushing teeth, cuddling and reading stories are such a lovely way to connect from when baby is a newborn and as they grow up.
Dads Can Feed Baby A Bottle to Help With Bonding
If mum needs a break, a great way for fathers to connect with baby and help mum is to feed baby an expressed bottle. This helps give her a longer nap or sleep at night so she’s able to function with all the cluster feeding in those early newborn days. This also gives dad and baby time to connect. There’s nothing like looking into baby’s eyes when they are feeding and having little chats with them.
Be a Team as New Parents
When I go to clients’ homes to photograph their newborn babies, I often see parents have worked out a great routine where mum feeds baby and then dad burps baby. This allows for lots of connection and cuddle time for both new parents.
Fathers Can Help Settle Baby To Create A Deeper Bond
My husband was very intimidated by our screaming newborn in those early days as he had never been around babies growing up. Every time she cried he would hand her to me because he thought she needed feeding and that would solve everything. However, he soon learned many ways to settle her on his own when she wasn’t hungry and they started to develop their own loving bond.